Moneyball: Not Round Here, Mate

I was tempted to call this piece “Moneyball: moneybollocks!” I haven’t seen the film starring Brad Pitt, who I only mention for the purpose of search engines, but the concept is simple enough: beat your richer opposition by being smarter with your resources. Well I think we all agree that Arsène Wenger does that –…

Arsenal Bad Hair XI

The other day I came across a picture of the Arsenal 1975 squad, featuring Brian Kidd with giant permed afro. “Brian Kidd’s hair was the size of a large pumpkin,” I tweeted. @theN5er then wondered if we could get a bad hair XI together, so here it is. (Other suggestions are welcome.) *** STOP PRESS…

The Curse Of The Mural

This weekend we play Norwich. Remember when we played them on the opening day of the 1992 season and got stuffed 4-2? The North Bank was literally silenced. More nostalgia, this time from The Gooner issue 116. During the 1992-93 season the North Bank was even more quiet than it is now. However, there was…

Sylvain Wiltord: He Wasn’t Very Good

My appraisal of Sylvain Wiltord, from The Gooner issue 122. I still can’t believe he was Arsenal’s most expensive ever signing for a while. This was written in Spring 2002, and a couple of months later he sealed the title win at Old Trafford. That wasn’t enough to change my opinion of him, though. There…

Practical Maths for Spurs Fans

It’s another Spurs piss-take! I wrote this over ten years ago, coming up to the 40th anniversary of Tottenham winning the League. I gave it to a website some Gooners had set up called Scum40, and from there it spread round the internet and then got printed in The Gooner issue 112. It even reached…

Fergie vs Hitler

As Sir Alex celebrates 25 years at Man U, there is no doubt he has been a pain in the arse for Gooners in particular for most of that time. I was more than fed up with him by 2001 when I wrote this comparison for The Gooner issue 117. Who should we hate more?…

Nostalgia: 1994 and 1995 CWC Finals

Ah, the good old days of European trophies . . . and last minute defeats to flukey goals by ex-Spuds. These appeared in The Gooner in issues 123 and 129 in 2002. 4 May 1994 Arsenal 1 (Smith) Parma 0 European Cup Winners’ Cup Final, Parken Stadium Copenhagen. Attendance: 33,765 This was the first time…