Fergie vs Hitler

As Sir Alex celebrates 25 years at Man U, there is no doubt he has been a pain in the arse for Gooners in particular for most of that time. I was more than fed up with him by 2001 when I wrote this comparison for The Gooner issue 117.

Who should we hate more?

Number one in an occasional series: Adolf Hitler V Alex Ferguson

Crimes against Arsenal:

Hitler:

  1. Started WW2 just when we were winning everything, thus robbing us of certain trophies. The team of the thirties were well into their forties by the time we saw off the Nazi menace. After the war it took until 1991 to win the same number of Championships we won in the eight years before it.
  2. Stopped us playing at Highbury for six years while it was used as a first aid post and ARP centre. We had to make do with using some far inferior facilities like White Hart Lane.
  3. Bombed Highbury. Destroyed the training pitch behind the Clock End and destroyed the roof of the North Bank by setting fire to it. It wasn’t rebuilt until 1954, which meant eight years of Gooners getting unnecessarily wet with rain dripping off their cloth caps and down the back of their overcoats.

Fergie:

  1. Stopped us being the best team of the 90’s, thus robbing us of certain trophies. Without him we’d have walked the league for the last four years in a row. How many doubles and trebles would we now be in possession of?
  2. Diverts media credit away from Arsenal. The media consistently refuse to give Arsenal due credit, while for some reason they love the whinging Scot and won’t say a word against him. Which leads us on to:
  3. Tapped up Patrick Vieira for a transfer. Fergie consistently denied any wrongdoing, and the media brushed it aside. Then Jaap Stam came out and confirmed that Fergie has done the same thing before, so the only question now is how many times? Within days Stam has been hustled off to Italy before the FA can even think of asking “Sir Alex” any impertinent questions. Coincidence? I think not. Fergie is a cheat who will do anything to get his man whether within the rules or not.

Other offences to be taken into consideration:

Hitler:

Too numerous to mention

Fergie:

Nearly made Kevin Keegan cry

Moans a lot

Inflicted the Neville brothers on the general public

Winner:

Fergie. French players are temperamental enough without him unsettling them. Git.

 

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