To celebrate this happy occasion I have updated my only very recently released Gloria Gaynor-esque tribute to ‘Arry. Yeah, I know you may have seen some of the content before, but to be fair Geoff, at least two and a half verses are new and I may not get the chance to take the piss out of him again for a while. Know what I mean? Triffic.

So Ladies and Gentlemen, singing the disco classic I Will Survive, tonight Harry Redknapp is . . . Gloria Gaynor!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never turn Spurs into a top four side
Then I spent oh so many nights thinking we could win the league
I was wrong, now I don’t want to carry on

Cos we were back, into fourth place
We were up there till December, but we’ll never win the race
I should have sold that bloody Friedel, should have dropped him from the team
If I had known for just one second he’d concede more than Derby

So many matches, ended up 2-2
At half time we were winning, then we went and effing drew!
And now I’m twitching while I’m thinking, should I have sold Jermain Defoe?
Woy got the England job, so I’m feeling pretty low

So now I’m gone, I’m out the door
Levy just didn’t want to see me anymore
The discussions were a farce, now I’m right out on my arse
But I’ll survive, I will survive

Yes I, I will survive
Oh, if we’d have had just two more points the CL dream would be alive
But Ledley’s almost dead, Kaboul’s just overfed
But I’ll survive, I will survive

It took all the strength I had, not to fall apart
When I was up before the beak for that tax evasion lark
And I spent oh so many nights trying to book Monaco flights
Cos I can’t read, so BA’s terms are all meaningless to me

And as for Modric, he’s all front
He sulked for half the season, the selfish little . . . runt
I should have sold him to the Chavs but Levy wouldn’t play
All I asked was 10 per cent to supplement my pay

But I, I will survive
Levy wants the Special One because he’s got more drive
I should have gone to Liverpool, can I go back to West Ham?
I know one thing for certain, I’m better than Fat Sam!

I told them all, that I was triffic
Though as I can’t read or write there’s little scientific
Tactics, what are they? And I can’t kick a ball
For three million a year I did basically eff all

That’s it I’m gone, I’m out the door
Couldn’t stick it with those dirty scum fans any more
Tottenham have no class, my heart was always with the Arse
So I’ll survive, yes I’ll surviiiiiiiiiiiiive!

There you go. I’ll now sit back and await the abuse from Spurs fans, like last time.

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