As everyone knows, Tottenham fans are generally insanely jealous of Arsenal and not much given to logic or reasoning. This is especially true of Totts fans who write websites. One thing all their websites seem to have is a list of alleged “Famous Spurs Supporters”. Most of them are Z-listers (eg “Icelandic TV newsreader”). They usually bump up the numbers by adding past Spurs players (Sheringham, Sherwood, Ruddock, etc – most of whom didn’t actually stick around at Spurs very long), and usually some dead people (Peter Cook, Frankie Vaughn; presumably the atmosphere suits them down to the ground – or six feet under it), or people who maybe should be dead by now (Bruce Forsyth, Chas & Dave). (On the other hand, we have Piers Morgan, so you know, swings and roundabouts.)
I’ve seen other entries that are even more dubious. For example, “Colin Firth, actor”. Colin Firth, let’s not forget, famously starred as an Arsenal supporter in Fever Pitch, the film of the most famous book ever written about Arsenal, and he became good mates with the book’s author, a lifelong Arsenal fanatic. Now I ask you: what sort of Tottenham fan would play that part? I’ve never seen or heard of Colin Firth having the remotest interest in Spurs, and if he’s a Spurs fan surely he would have mentioned it to someone, somewhere, sometime. Around Fever Pitch, would an interviewer not have said, “So Colin, as a Spurs fan what’s it like to play this role?” Verdict: bluff.
Next, “Sting, singer”. Mr Sumner is from Wallsend, which is almost in Newcastle. Is he officially a Geordie? No idea, but the tabloids usually call him one. He even appears on lists of “Celebrity Toon fans” alongside Mark Knopfler and, er, that bloke out of AC/DC – not the famous one, the other one. So what possible reason could Sting have for supporting Tottenham? Answer: none. Bluff again.
Now the best of all: “Ted Baker, fashion designer”. The thing about Ted Baker is that he’s like Chelsea’s history: he doesn’t actually exist. It’s a piece of corporate imagination, made up by some bloke to open a shirt shop, and he’s therefore less real than Ronald McDonald (who, surprisingly, doesn’t appear). Not just bluff, outright lie.
Thus I conclude:
- No one of any importance likes Spurs.
- In their desperation to be a big club, they make up imaginary supporters to make themselves look more popular.
- How very sad.
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