Have I mentioned I hate most football stats? I think I may have. Mostly they are meaningless tosh that have no bearing on anything. Whenever someone tweets a stat onto my twitter timeline like this one:I think ‘Meaningless stat’. Then I start singing in my head, ‘Meaningless stats in very high voices’, because the phrase reminds me of the Bee Gees parody ‘Meaningless Songs In Very High Voices’ by the Hee Bee Gee Bees. Angus Deayton and Philip Pope were both in the Hee Bee Gee Bees, and they also sang a Police parody called ‘Too Depressed To Commit Suicide’ and a very accurate Status Quo one called ‘A Boring Song’, among others.I digress. Here are some stats pertinent to today’s match against Fulham – if by ‘pertinent’ you accept they have absolutely no bearing on what will happen.
- Arsenal average 2 points per game exactly in home games against London opposition in the Premier League era; against Fulham they average 2.45 points per game
- In home Premier League Matches Arsenal have a record against Fulham of P11 W8 D3
- Arsenal have scored 24 goals in their home PL matches against Fulham, and conceded 7
- Fulham are the only London club that Arsenal have never lost to at home in the last 20 years
- Arsenal have scored six fewer goals than Fulham in the League this season
- Santi Cazorla has created 35 chances this season, of which three have been scored
- Fulham have 9 points from their last six matches; Arsenal have seven points from theirs
- Arsenal have conceded the fewest goals in the Premier League this season
- Opposition teams have taken only 31 shots against Arsenal at home this season, 18 fewer than any other side can boast
- Arsenal have had more possession overall than any other Premier League team this season
- Fulham are unbeaten in their last three away games; they haven’t managed four unbeaten for over two years
- Fulham have scored in their last 7 league games in a row for the first time since 2007
- Arsenal and Fulham’s top scorers both have three goals this season – but Fulham have four players on that mark and Arsenal only two
- Both teams also have identical league records this season: W4 D3 L3
- And of course the pièce de resistance stat: ARSENAL HAVE NEVER LOST AT HOME TO FULHAM IN A COMPETITIVE MATCH – EVER! IN ANY COMPETITION! SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!
So the stats prove that it is IMPOSSIBLE for Arsenal to lose this match. That’s what stats do, right? Give you proof of stuff. Must be, cos otherwise why would so many people keep banging on about them instead of watching the damn game!