Arsene, the Dandy Highwayman

Arsenal have one point from three games, so I’m kind of off football, but in case you are still interested, here’s what The Times said about the Arse on Saturday.Times 130119 Theo contract

Apparently Walcott has a new contract. Really? They kept that quiet, didn’t they? I hadn’t heard a mention.

Having stunned us with that revelation, it’s a change of subject to our favourite perma-crock. AW reckons Diaby’s brilliant but acknowledges he may have missed a game or two through injury in the last six years. Arsene says: “With Diaby, he has a very serious life: doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t go out and is very conscientious in training.” I thought he was going to break into a bit of Adam Ant and Goody Two Shoes there for a minute. But no. He goes on: “So you always feel sorry for him. Some guys, they can drink five beers, come to training, play and go home and nothing happens to them.” Hold up Arsene, I thought that was the culture you stamped out? Five beers? Who’s doing that still? Is it Arshavin? Because he plays like he’s always hungover. Or Sagna? His crossing looks like he has double vision lately.

What? Oh, Diaby. “You want him to have the career he deserves.” Yeah, yada yada. You can feel sorry for him if you want to Arsene, after all you get paid more than twice as much as him. I just want him to have the career WE deserve – we’re the mugs paying for it!

adam ant

Mr Ant. Dec not pictured.

Back to Walcott. £90k a week apparently makes him Arsenal’s level top earner with Arshavin, according to The Times. Then there’s some discussion about whether Walcott really wants to be there or not, given it’s only a three and a half year deal and he was almost flogged in the summer when he wouldn’t sign, but no one made a serious offer. And was he dropped at the start of the season as punishment for being a naughty boy and not playing where he was told to? Who knows, or even cares. As Walcott himself says (from his lofty position atop a huge pile of £50 notes and assorted ‘bling’), “What’s important now is for the team to realise its potential and win trophies.” Does this mean you will concentrate on playing and not be agitating for a bigger slice of the pie again in 18 months, little Theo? Well does it?

Follow me on twitter, if you can be arsed: @AngryOfN5


4 thoughts on “Arsene, the Dandy Highwayman

  1. Diaby is not the problem here. The problem is a culture of football in England that breeds the likes of Dan Smith and allows them to be described as professional footballers, when in fact they are talent free thugs. And then on top of that tolerates clueless refs who freely allow thugism to prevail. And indeed many fans are mugs – they pay to go watch that nonsense: it isn’t even football.

    And you wonder why England hasn’t won a major tournament in decades – and is nowhere near it at the moment?

    But yes, let’s pretend Diaby is the problem – and not a symptom.

    As for Walcott, let’s face it – Arsenal knows he is a limited player and they had no intention of re-signing him. The moment any interest was possible, they were flogging him. But the clueless lot that enjoys half-baked players made a loud clamour and here we are, re-signing the smiling, sweet-faced replica jersey machine who has no clue how to trap a football after SEVEN years at a premiership team! And he attended Southampton’s renowned football Academy before that? Heading the ball? Oh heavens, no. Who cares if Messi can head the ball better at a mere 5 foot 5. Theo doesnt need to do any of that – just sign me a 100K pwr week paycheck please, after all I’m English you know.

    Amazing what you can manage NOT to learn while pretending to be a professional footballer.

  2. funny how if theo is so krud he’s the top goalscorer with assists for the team. can’t fans accept that market wise the club pay low salaries for top players and ridiculously high for average, or those not playing…..!!

    how much does ashley young make at utd?

    • You’re fooling yourself if you describe this guy as a “top scorer” ad you think he will take the team anywhere. He is a “top scorer” who is fairly easily nullified by most top teams in big games. Which is why is unable to carry the team over the top in big games,

      And that isn’t going to change until he has better ball control.

      As for his fair weather fans, you were probably the same lot booing him a year ago:
      But suddenly you act as if the club was crazy for not wanting to pay him big money?

      Its not the club who lacks brains, its football fans.

  3. THe same mistake. Diaby is the Club not because he loves the club but because that is where he will get good pay. When he becomes good in future, he moves on to another Club. When Van Persie, Clichy, Adebayoh, Cole, Song, Cesc, Nasri etc of this World were learning Arsenal and the Fans were suffering. When they came good, we are still sufering. Is it not the same mistake? PoUND FOOLISH PENNY WISE. Calculate the cost of replacing all these players and amount realised from selling them you will agree that there is small difference with cost being higher.

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